My baby's birth story

For those interested, to go with an upcoming post on homebirth...this is now old news, but worth reading for those with an interest in natural birth.

I count labor as starting at about 5:00 am on Friday morning, since that's when I was awake for good and able to really identify and time contractions, but in my mind, it all started with a little pop around 12:15 am Friday when my water broke, since I knew then that labor would need to begin within a certain amount of time.

I decided to clean up, sleep it off and call the midwives' practice, BirthCare, and my birth assistant, later in the morning since there was no sign of meconium in the water, the baby was moving and I was experiencing only a little abdominal achiness and very light cramps. (I was told later I should have called them right away...so any future mamas out there, do that!)

The midwife on call, advised me to take castor oil to help labor along and get me going within the 24-hour limit I'd have to give birth after the water breaking. We walked over to some nearby shops to restock on just a few groceries (fresh fruit!) and the castor oil. I took it at 8:30 am and its work began, slowly, behind the scenes. We hung out around the house for a bit and got a feel for how the contractions were going. They were coming about 7 minutes apart, lasting less than a minute, for some time, and quite manageable.

We went for another short walk around the neighborhood for about 30 minutes. I remember saying to my husband that I could handle contractions, like, ten times worse than what I was having at that time (little did I know what was coming).

After getting back home, we wanted to have some lunch before 12:30 pm, when we were supposed to call back the midwives and birth assistant. By now, the contractions were becoming a little more intense so that I ate most of my lunch but had to stop before eating it all. When I called in, I was told that the midwife at BirthCare with whom I'd developed a special connection, agreed to take over with my birth that day. That was great news, so I checked in with her and she advised a nap to be well-rested for what laid ahead.

The nap didn't pan out so great. I sleep a little, on and off for about an hour, as the contractions started to come a little more quickly and intensely. By this time, they were coming five minutes apart and lasting a good 70 seconds. I had to stand up and sway my hips, or bend over and hug a pillow, moaning in a low tone, in order to handle the contractions. I tried my best to rest in between them. My husband was coaching me through it all, at first comforting me with gentle, relaxing touches between contractions—we tried a little back massaging during them, but that wasn't working for me. Really, just him being there and being engaged in the labor with me was good, with me knowing I could call upon him as needed. He also helped by bringing me water, and making calls to the midwife and birth assistant when I couldn't deal with talking to anyone anymore. I managed to snack just a little from time to time for energy between contractions, even as they were getting tougher.

It's difficult to describe what the contractions felt like. Some women say they're not painful, but just a discomfort. I would say they were painful, but a productive pain. My understanding of what the uterine muscles were doing with each contraction helped me deal with how it felt.

I started to get a little concerned about the birth being imminent because I really had no idea how long it could go or how bad it could get, and it had gotten pretty intense by now. I was starting to feel alot more pressure with the contractions. I threw up once, and I was going from hot to cold and back, which I had heard were signs of transition, and though I wasn't thinking "I can't do this" (another sign of transition) I sure was thinking, "I don't want to do this...why did I choose to do this this way, with no medication..." so I thought I was reaching my limit. I was so wrong. I'm not really sure when transition was, officially.

Eventually, after a few back and forth phone updates between my husband, the midwife and the birth assistance, we decided we would do the birth at home and they'd be on their way over. I couldn't imaging coping with the contractions during a car ride. Even though it might only be twenty minutes, my need to stand, squat, curl over a pillow and the primitivism of my moaning just didn't seem suited to car travel.

When the midwife arrived, I was no longer paying attention to timing contractions, they were just coming and I was just hanging on and dealing with them any way I could. I think I threw up again.

The midwife gave me words of encouragement and praise for my ways of coping with the contractions and also talked to me a bit about our house, the yard with all its different trees, the nice deck. Eventually, she suggested we go outside for a bit, if I was comfortable with that. I think we all knew that the fresh air and change of scenery would give me a second wind and change up the energy a little bit.

It was a lovely evening by then, with cool summer breezes. Labor continued to be very intense, but with the midwife's advice, my husband's comfort and now, my birth assistant, too, there providing her support, I just took it one contraction at a time, as they say you're supposed to, and tried my best to chill out, rest, and gear up for the next one in between the contractions.

I began to start feeling the intense pressure and the urge to push and was grunting away out on the deck for a while. The castor oil was in full effect and things would have gotten extremely messy were it not for the endless expert and astute changing of Chux pads beneath me by the midwife and birth assistant. Being a wild woman in labor, I cared nothing about the flying fluids and mess and even found all the fussiness annoying at the time. However, looking back, I am grateful and amazed at how neat they kept the birth, and how much of my dignity they preserved by doing so.

Although I had the urge to push, the midwife checked me and noted I was only dilated 8 cm, so I had to hold back. Not pushing when I felt this intense urge was very difficult. She advised that if I breathed out during the contractions when the urge was building, it would keep me from pushing too much too soon. In order to do this, I had to grip my husband's hands really, really tight and I needed the midwife and birth assistant to work on my lower back as a counter pressure. I rested in between contractions while they took care of preparations for the next phase, and I called them back with each contraction for more help on my back. I must have squeezed my husband's hands so hard, but he took it all and supported me the whole time. He was there to remind me to blow out and coach me through the challenge as the intense contractions worked to open me more. The midwife sensed that the birth could happen soon and advised we move inside the house since it was getting cool and breezy for a new baby.

There still was another hurdle I had to clear before giving birth, though, which was that even as the cervix was dilating, there was a little lip that was in the way. After some time, the midwife said she could try easing it out of the way during a contraction to help move the labor along. I knew from other birth stories that it would not be pleasant, and would be a bit painful, but I really wanted to go forward with the labor as quickly now as possible and meet my baby.

The midwife expertly moved the lip and it was now time to push, which meant much more hard work. Pushing was tough. Maybe the toughest part because it was now about more than just coping with pain. I now had to accomplish something. I took in as much breath as I could, held it and pushed so hard for what seemed like the longest time. I pushed and pushed with each contraction, I thought it would never end. The midwife talked me through how to push with control as my husband and birth assistant comforted me. With each push, I felt burning and stretching. They later told me I had good control and followed the midwife's direction well to avoid tearing and damage to my perineum.

Everyone was getting excited and they told me they could see more and more of the baby's head with each push. With the last push, I thought they actually had to cut me because I felt a little something acutely sharp before the final relief, but they didn't. The next thing I knew, there was this sense of elation and the midwife was handing me my baby.

Holding her, I was filled with complete joy. She was absolutely beautiful, so soft and pink (for whatever reason, she came out very clean with little vernix on her at all). I felt such relief and love and peace. My husband cuddled us and held her for a moment, too, as we finished the birthing and basked in our happiness.