Sunday, April 10, 2011

Do I have a right to NOT play?

So I am sitting here, aching all over from yesterday's marathon. I just woke up. Haven't had breakfast, just drinking some water and surfing the web a little, waiting for the first pangs of hunger and the motivation to get back off of the couch before I eat something. I have already given my child her breakfast, of course, twice (two bowls of cereal, mixed kinds with milk, and juice...just like she asked for) and she is supposed to now just be playing around me, herself, while I interject words of interest here or there about what she is doing and engage, loosely in it all.

But no, the time of coasting has come to an end. I've had to comment favorably on her puppies that she's taking to the museum. I've had to ride to the museum, that was easy, I just sat on the sofa while she draped some beads on me as a "seatbelt so I can be safe." But now, we've arrived at the museum which means I have to get up and walk...somewhere...that she will pretend is the museum.

The thing is, I just don't want to! I want to just sit here for a few more minutes. I will play with her later, for sure I will. But, damn it, I am tired...and sore. I spent the whole night with her, as I sometimes do, cuddling on the futon on the floor. I know I'm a decent mom. So why do I have to play what she wants when she wants? Fact is, I don't. But she demands it and then cries when I don't. What do I do? It's infuriating. I tell her I'll play later. Not good enough. I tell her to go to her room until she can stop crying and be quiet. So that's what she does, saying to her stuffed dogs, "Sorry puppies" as she continues to cry.

The crying stops after a very short time, though, like less than minutes, maybe 2 minutes? And now I hear her "reading" aloud to her puppies, peacefully and quietly. Maybe now I am ready to play a little or engage, because the sound of her voice reading softly to herself and her pretend puppies is so sweet, and I realize that I've had my five minutes, I am not working or doing anything really important right now, and so why not go to her?

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