Some things never change, but maybe they should

It's been a while since I've blogged here. I have been working hard on work-work and weight loss and other things. Even though I previously said here I was no longer trying to lose weight (of course, at that time, I was about 15 lbs less than when I reached my most dreadful weight, just shy of my full-term pregnancy poundage, in November 2009) I came into it again with new fervor and have actually lost almost 20 lbs. since the end of 2009. I want to lose about 10-12 more and am on track to do so. It just took some brain-changing, mathematics and work. More on that later.

Now, back to why I want to blog again about mom stuff: I think I'm good at it.

I went back to read some of my posts after being reminded of the harder days of child raising—the period between 1 and 2 years old—by some other posts on Babble.com, mostly about Attachment Parenting (AP) and co-sleeping vs. sleep training. The poster was questioning her adherence to AP because she was having trouble with her 1 year old, and I knew what she meant, although I never really set out to criticize AP in my posts. Maybe because I was never a strict believer or adherent to "the faith." I've always been a mish-masher, take what you like from things, discard the rest kind of person, and its no different with my parenting style. I've made some mistakes, sure, but overall, I'm happy with the outcome so far. My daughter is pretty damn delightful, and a healthy mix of bright and exploratory with obedient when it really comes down to it.

But, that's another digression. Gotta get back in the practice of a focus, see. Anyway, this post is really just to say that I think I may start posting again. The reason I quit was because I was getting too worked up and embroiled in online discussions of stuff and then wanting to formulate essays springboarding from that and it was taking alot of energy and making me feel weird. Well, since quitting, I've still been getting embroiled in the discussions, but just have not taken the time to develop my own well-thought-out pieces on them. So it's been alot of unsatisfying wheel-spinning. I also thought I'd be spending more time blogging about the arts or design, but, there's not that much to say that interests me. I guess a thinking mom is what I've really become.

I do wonder why I am so opinionated about things. Why am I compelled to post on discussions about things. I mean, do I really care what someone else does? Maybe it's just a competition thing. I think my way is best, so you're gonna hear about it! Maybe it's trying to be evangelical about my way? But, really, part of me likes the fact that not everyone is going to be doing things the same way, so that we can have different outcomes and different people at the end of the day. And, so much of what I write I would never say to people. I guess that's pretty weak. What does it all mean?

As part of my changing, I've taken up yoga pretty earnestly. I do about a half hour 5-6 days a week. It has totally helped me be calmer, more thoughtful, more mindful of what's going on with me, so I can make better decisions about health issues (not shoveling food in my face) and how I treat my family. The family part has come more slowly, but I think I have improved. Now, I need to take it to the next level and be compassionate toward the strangers on the web, even as I still express my opinion.