Well, I survived the pool playdate and let me tell you, it was not awkward at all. First of all, there were lots of little kids and moms at the pool. I will say very few moms were actually in the pool. Most sat on the sidelines fully dressed. I think many of them had kids in an actual swimming class. As for us, well, we just chatted and the conversation totally flowed. The girls splashed around, we interacted with them, but did a fair share of talking amongst ourselves, actually. It was good to be in the water and have my body shielded a little that way, hee hee. I can't believe I was ever so weirded out by the idea. Not that I am in a hurry to do it again. I like swimming laps and going to the beach, but I am not that big on just hanging out in a pool, especially an indoor pool.
Of course, I told my husband about our day, and he said, "Oh, who's idea was that?" I told him it was the dad's idea, but quickly reminded my husband of our many trips to nude beaches, our honeymoon stint at a nude town in France, and his general propensity toward licentiousness, and he left it alone. Still, I can see how he'd be a little "bleh" about having to go to work in an office all day while I was at a pool socializing with Mr. Mom. At the end of the day, though, he didn't care much one way or the other.
I have to say, I kind of enjoy socializing with this dad more than I have with most moms as far as parents of kids my kid has done playdates with. Nothing bad about the moms, but you know, in my 20s, most of my friends were guys. I think it's just that lots of time guys are more easygoing, the talk seemed to flow very quickly beyond parenting and kids to our participation in sports, to world events, and more. But of course, this is just a very small sample size and just one and a half interactions.
My kid had a playdate with this guy's kid once before where she came over to our house to play and I gotta say, that was the best of all because I didn't have to talk to even him for very long. My kid had specifically asked me to invite this other child over and so I made the gestures. I found out her mom was being deployed to Afghanistan and the dad was going to be the primary with the kids for a while, so I'd have to deal with him. I told him, when making the invitation for the playdate that he would be welcome to just drop his kid off and let her play here while he went and ran errands or did whatever he wanted, if he didn't feel like sitting around coffee klatching with a mom (me). I said, maybe he'd hang out for a while, get a feel for our home, make sure it was safe for his kid, she was comfortable here and all that, then go on his way if he felt comfortable with it. And that's just what happened. And those are the playdates I prefer. My kid has a friend over, they play, I work, read, hang out and supervise from afar, minimally, rather than having to make conversation with a parent I may or may not have much in common with for hours.
Of course, I have my own friends and some happen to be parents, so it's not that I don't want to hang out at all, it's just cool that when kids start getting older they can have their own friends and their own playdates and we're moving away from the "mommies club" kind of thing.
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2 comments:
I think it's wrong that you didn't tell your husband that some other man is going to be hanging out with you in his home. Yes, it's your home too, but simply assuring us that you're not attracted to him and making sure your legs/pits are extra hairy really isn't enough of a disclaimer. Especially as you also describe how athletic and attractive you are. You need to tell him so that he knows about this. Otherwise you're leaving the door open to any and all possibilities and that is wrong because you are a married woman.
Hmmm...maybe I didn't tell my story clearly. I DID tell my husband the dad would be coming over to bring his kid to the playdate at our house and hanging around for a few minutes while his kid got comfortable...I did NOT tell my husband ahead of time I was going to a public community pool and that this dad and his kid would be there...in any case, there's ZERO hanky panky going on, so not to worry.
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