Soooo NOT awkward, and more on playdates

Well, I survived the pool playdate and let me tell you, it was not awkward at all. First of all, there were lots of little kids and moms at the pool. I will say very few moms were actually in the pool. Most sat on the sidelines fully dressed. I think many of them had kids in an actual swimming class. As for us, well, we just chatted and the conversation totally flowed. The girls splashed around, we interacted with them, but did a fair share of talking amongst ourselves, actually. It was good to be in the water and have my body shielded a little that way, hee hee. I can't believe I was ever so weirded out by the idea. Not that I am in a hurry to do it again. I like swimming laps and going to the beach, but I am not that big on just hanging out in a pool, especially an indoor pool.

Of course, I told my husband about our day, and he said, "Oh, who's idea was that?" I told him it was the dad's idea, but quickly reminded my husband of our many trips to nude beaches, our honeymoon stint at a nude town in France, and his general propensity toward licentiousness, and he left it alone. Still, I can see how he'd be a little "bleh" about having to go to work in an office all day while I was at a pool socializing with Mr. Mom. At the end of the day, though, he didn't care much one way or the other.

I have to say, I kind of enjoy socializing with this dad more than I have with most moms as far as parents of kids my kid has done playdates with. Nothing bad about the moms, but you know, in my 20s, most of my friends were guys. I think it's just that lots of time guys are more easygoing, the talk seemed to flow very quickly beyond parenting and kids to our participation in sports, to world events, and more. But of course, this is just a very small sample size and just one and a half interactions.

My kid had a playdate with this guy's kid once before where she came over to our house to play and I gotta say, that was the best of all because I didn't have to talk to even him for very long. My kid had specifically asked me to invite this other child over and so I made the gestures. I found out her mom was being deployed to Afghanistan and the dad was going to be the primary with the kids for a while, so I'd have to deal with him. I told him, when making the invitation for the playdate that he would be welcome to just drop his kid off and let her play here while he went and ran errands or did whatever he wanted, if he didn't feel like sitting around coffee klatching with a mom (me). I said, maybe he'd hang out for a while, get a feel for our home, make sure it was safe for his kid, she was comfortable here and all that, then go on his way if he felt comfortable with it. And that's just what happened. And those are the playdates I prefer. My kid has a friend over, they play, I work, read, hang out and supervise from afar, minimally, rather than having to make conversation with a parent I may or may not have much in common with for hours.

Of course, I have my own friends and some happen to be parents, so it's not that I don't want to hang out at all, it's just cool that when kids start getting older they can have their own friends and their own playdates and we're moving away from the "mommies club" kind of thing.

AWKward!?

It's about an hour before we're due for a swim playdate. I'm not entirely looking forward to it. OK, I wish I didn't have to do it. It's early March and I know it's an indoor, heated pool, but I also know I am probably going to be cold. I like swimming laps, but I don't really like just hanging around in the water, indoors, at the county rec center pool. So, why did I agree to this playdate? I wanted to be a good egg. I wanted to say "yes" to someone. This someone, though, is a dad, so on top of being cold and wet, I am going to be worried about what I look like in a bathing suit.

I'm not fat. I'm training for a marathon. I lift weights regularly. I look fine. Not bikini model material, but a healthy, athletic almost-40-year-old woman. So, why do I feel like this is going to be awkward? Maybe I'd feel less awkward if I was straight-up overweight, with no potential for attraction? Why did I not mention it to my husband? Why do I feel guilty and weird? I am not a prude at all. I am not attracted to this man—at all. And yet, I feel weird. A little. I am guessing my hairy legs and underarms will put him off enough to not see me that way.

I feel like if this were outside at the neighborhood pool it would be less awkward. It would be summer time. There would be other moms, dads and kids around. But, here, still in winter at the rec center, it's likely it might just be me and him and our girls. Maybe not. We'll see. Although he did say when suggesting this playdate that it will be nice for his kid to have someone else to play with since it's usually just her.

So, will we be sitting there having a conversation, in our swimsuits, under the cold, grey lights of this indoor pool while they girls play? (They are too little, at 3, to be in the water themselves, with us on the sidelines, I'd say). Or, will the girls occupy enough of the time and activity that we won't have to interact that much?

I was up late reading last night and sort of couldn't go to bed because I was wondering about all these things. Again, why did I just go along with this playdate idea, even though I thought maybe it was a little odd? I wanted to be easygoing. Go along with it. It would be weird for me to feel funny about being in a bathing suit and having to talk to some man. I shouldn't feel funny, should I? I shouldn't wonder about what he thinks of me in a swimsuit. That is vain and weird, and of course not what what this is all about. Part of me didn't mention it to my husband because I don't know if he would think it is weirder for me to do the playdate or weirder that I would have all this ambivalence about it. I know I can't coach my daughter to not talk about it, or lie, that would be going too far. But still, I hope we do enough other things after that she doesn't mention it. She probably will, though.

I'll report back post-pool playdate and let you know what happens.