Today, we leave on vacation...and what a great day for the Huffington Post post on "disconnecting to connect." (Funny, because my soon-to-be former employer is in the thick of their annual conference right now, and I am spending the last week of my employment with them on maternity leave, and going on vacation.)
This poster's comment touched me:
There simply needs to be a balance between our capitalism and spiritualism. A society without the essential elements of both is simply going to lose in the end. Humans as connected spirits in this universe need the spiritual side to realize that all the money and recognition and power that they are striving towards will be left behind in this material world in 80-100 odd years. The urge to do as much in those many years is great I know specially as one hits mid-age. But then again who will even WANT to know you (the person) after two generations? I agree Lincoln and Washington, Gandhi and Vivekananda have followers even today but maybe that is exactly why there is such a paucity of men and women of great stature today. No one has the time to build their convictions and strengths. Everyone is running around achieving so much and getting nowhere...The more important thing seems to be communicating about it to get instant gratification and fame rather than the world feeling the effects of actions through time. Thus we have a president who rushes into war which the countrymen had no time to think about and I am writing here now because if I don't I would never get to it in my busy day... T
I bolded that sentence because in some ways, that's how I've come to feel about blogging, although obviously I know fame is not really something I'm going to achieve. I have been thinking lately, though, that I might need to do less blogging and more living...so, here we go...vacation!
Friday, October 5, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Parents looking for work-life balance, use your bargaining power to turn the tides
Yesterday was a gorgeous late summer/early fall day with a strong breeze that makes you think…change is in the air. I spent most of the day inside taking care of my baby and working on the laptop, but managed to get out for a run before the day began and a nice walk after my work was done. I had the chance to reflect on the sense of change in the season, my life, and hopefully on a larger scale in society.
A timely segment this morning on Good Morning America sparked my thoughts yesterday morning. The topic—“Ways to Get Your Voice Heard on Paid Leave From Work Policies”. I actually had received an e-mail from the Mom’s Rising group, calling for moms to head to Capitol Hill for the segment, but I had my baby and my work deadlines, so it wasn’t in the cards for me, and I’m not sure I would have been completely comfortable in the mix.
I do support legislation that would protect families and children by allowing moms and dads to stay home with their babies longer without suffering financial hardships. However, there are so many unanswered questions about how such legislation would work. Who would pay for the paid leave? What about people who choose to have only one child versus those who have five? What about people who don’t have children at all? Are programs like this fair to them?
I believe all Americans have to come together and work for the common good, supporting policies that will help families and nurture our kids so future generations are healthy in mind, body and spirit. To me, this means policies that, at minimum, create an environment that allows a parent to be in the home with their child until they are preschool age (three years old) and for the child to be breastfed, if possible, until the age of one, at least. However, I also believe that people—parents—have power beyond what legislation or regulation might provide.
Skilled professionals command certain benefits in a free marketplace, but these people must also demand these benefits. A recent U.S. News & Word Report article highlighted companies like PricewaterhouseCoopers and Deloitte & Touche that now have special programs for employees who want to take time off for their families when a baby is born, but still keep their careers on track. These companies created their programs because they made sense from a business perspective. As the article states of PwC, “The company did not start the program out of a spirit of generosity: In 2001, it faced a 24 percent turnover rate.” A PwC exec estimates the cost of losing a client services' employee to be around $80,000, so their program pays for itself.
Naturally, the employees who can take advantage of such programs are going to be very talented and highly in-demand. But, other professionals, too, might also be able to negotiate deals with their employers to let them telecommute, work part time, work on a freelance basis, or take sabbaticals with mentoring and skill development programs while tending to young children. If they’re worth it, they might get the deal. Others strike out on their own as entrepreneurs or consultants.
That’s what I’m hoping for with my soon-to-be former employer—a freelance gig that I might eventually springboard into a full-fledged freelance practice with even more clients. This is just one way people can help shape the way business works to make it more family-friendly. The more professionals with bargaining power use their influence to shape the marketplace to suit their wants and needs, the more businesses will operate this way. People have the power to make demands on the market, but it takes planning, guts, tenacity—and sometimes sacrifice. Over time, we might make this the norm, and even help it trickle down to less-skilled workers…at least until legislation can get pushed through.
Here are some pieces to the puzzle of balancing babies and work I can note from my own experience:
Plan ahead
For our family, we worked hard for several years and saved in advance to allow me the option to stay home or work part time during our daughter’s earliest years. We socked away a nice nest egg before getting pregnant. Plus, I did almost eight years at my job, racking up sick leave that I was able to use so that during my FMLA leave so I was able to still take home my entire salary.
Work hard/Be talented
Over the years at my job, I worked to position myself as close to indispensable as possible. Of course, everyone knows nobody is indispensable, but being a key member of the team and trying to bring something extra to the table will help in negotiations for flexible work arrangements later. I even agreed to work part-time from home during my actual maternity leave because I wanted to stay in the mix of what was going on at the office and continue to position myself as a valuable asset. I’m now awaiting my office’s decision on how they might use me on a freelance basis, part time, from home, and my chances look good.
Be prepared to make tough choices
Of course, we realize we may have to set some priorities (I originally said "make sacrifices, but I don't believe that is a good term to use). We might not have the newest cars or clothes. We don’t get every single new little baby gadget. And, I know our bank accounts and my contributions to my retirement savings will take a hit for a little while. But, we decided it was worth it for us.
Stand firm
Once we made our decision not to put our baby in daycare, we knew that there was no turning back and we weren’t willing to compromise on it. This was what we believed, and short of a crisis situation, one of us would be home with the baby. If they can afford it, families with two in-demand workers might make the choice to walk away from one of their full-time jobs, or negotiate part-time work. If enough people with power and money make these choices, the market might follow.
A timely segment this morning on Good Morning America sparked my thoughts yesterday morning. The topic—“Ways to Get Your Voice Heard on Paid Leave From Work Policies”. I actually had received an e-mail from the Mom’s Rising group, calling for moms to head to Capitol Hill for the segment, but I had my baby and my work deadlines, so it wasn’t in the cards for me, and I’m not sure I would have been completely comfortable in the mix.
I do support legislation that would protect families and children by allowing moms and dads to stay home with their babies longer without suffering financial hardships. However, there are so many unanswered questions about how such legislation would work. Who would pay for the paid leave? What about people who choose to have only one child versus those who have five? What about people who don’t have children at all? Are programs like this fair to them?
I believe all Americans have to come together and work for the common good, supporting policies that will help families and nurture our kids so future generations are healthy in mind, body and spirit. To me, this means policies that, at minimum, create an environment that allows a parent to be in the home with their child until they are preschool age (three years old) and for the child to be breastfed, if possible, until the age of one, at least. However, I also believe that people—parents—have power beyond what legislation or regulation might provide.
Skilled professionals command certain benefits in a free marketplace, but these people must also demand these benefits. A recent U.S. News & Word Report article highlighted companies like PricewaterhouseCoopers and Deloitte & Touche that now have special programs for employees who want to take time off for their families when a baby is born, but still keep their careers on track. These companies created their programs because they made sense from a business perspective. As the article states of PwC, “The company did not start the program out of a spirit of generosity: In 2001, it faced a 24 percent turnover rate.” A PwC exec estimates the cost of losing a client services' employee to be around $80,000, so their program pays for itself.
Naturally, the employees who can take advantage of such programs are going to be very talented and highly in-demand. But, other professionals, too, might also be able to negotiate deals with their employers to let them telecommute, work part time, work on a freelance basis, or take sabbaticals with mentoring and skill development programs while tending to young children. If they’re worth it, they might get the deal. Others strike out on their own as entrepreneurs or consultants.
That’s what I’m hoping for with my soon-to-be former employer—a freelance gig that I might eventually springboard into a full-fledged freelance practice with even more clients. This is just one way people can help shape the way business works to make it more family-friendly. The more professionals with bargaining power use their influence to shape the marketplace to suit their wants and needs, the more businesses will operate this way. People have the power to make demands on the market, but it takes planning, guts, tenacity—and sometimes sacrifice. Over time, we might make this the norm, and even help it trickle down to less-skilled workers…at least until legislation can get pushed through.
Here are some pieces to the puzzle of balancing babies and work I can note from my own experience:
Plan ahead
For our family, we worked hard for several years and saved in advance to allow me the option to stay home or work part time during our daughter’s earliest years. We socked away a nice nest egg before getting pregnant. Plus, I did almost eight years at my job, racking up sick leave that I was able to use so that during my FMLA leave so I was able to still take home my entire salary.
Work hard/Be talented
Over the years at my job, I worked to position myself as close to indispensable as possible. Of course, everyone knows nobody is indispensable, but being a key member of the team and trying to bring something extra to the table will help in negotiations for flexible work arrangements later. I even agreed to work part-time from home during my actual maternity leave because I wanted to stay in the mix of what was going on at the office and continue to position myself as a valuable asset. I’m now awaiting my office’s decision on how they might use me on a freelance basis, part time, from home, and my chances look good.
Be prepared to make tough choices
Of course, we realize we may have to set some priorities (I originally said "make sacrifices, but I don't believe that is a good term to use). We might not have the newest cars or clothes. We don’t get every single new little baby gadget. And, I know our bank accounts and my contributions to my retirement savings will take a hit for a little while. But, we decided it was worth it for us.
Stand firm
Once we made our decision not to put our baby in daycare, we knew that there was no turning back and we weren’t willing to compromise on it. This was what we believed, and short of a crisis situation, one of us would be home with the baby. If they can afford it, families with two in-demand workers might make the choice to walk away from one of their full-time jobs, or negotiate part-time work. If enough people with power and money make these choices, the market might follow.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Don’t buy crib company spin on recall—babies are OK in bed
Crib manufacturer Simplicity, recently tried to spin news about a crib recall to take a jab at co-sleeping—a healthy and safe practice done by millions of families around the world every night, and done in our house.
We use an Arm’s Reach Co-sleeper next to our bed, and also have a crib in a separate room for her (maybe someday) but in reality, our baby ends up in bed with us most nights after her first waking. I usually pick her up out of the co-sleeper and place her next to me to nurse lying down and we both fall asleep. It’s a wonderful feeling and it’s just so easy. Sometimes I will lean over the co-sleeper and nurse her there, but honestly, it's so much more comfortable to have her right by my side. I can’t imagine how parents who have their babies sleeping in another room manage when they wake at night and cry out for them, which most babies just naturally do when they are very young. It’s much more tiring, I think, to have to get out of bed and go to the crying baby than to be gently woken by the baby’s persistent stirring and then be able to tend to her before she gets worked up.
According to Attachment Parenting International (API), there are many benefits to co-sleeping. Co-sleeping helps babies regulate some of their bodies’ functions. The API website cites studies showing that parents being so close by may help the infant’s immature nervous system learn to self-regulate during sleep and that it may also help prevent SIDS by preventing the infant from entering into sleep states that are too deep.
Babies get more care with the co-sleeping arrangement, as well. Co-sleeping increases breastfeeding, and in addition to the known benefits of breast milk itself, the act of sucking increases oxygen flow, which is beneficial for both growth and immune functions.
Long-term benefits include higher self-esteem, less discomfort about physical contact and affection as adults and general improved adjustment to life. Another study showed co-sleeping children received higher evaluations from their teachers than did solitary sleeping children. Furthermore, a large, cross-cultural study conducted on five different ethnic groups in large U.S. cities found that, across all groups, co-sleepers exhibited a general feeling of satisfaction with life.
Some critics say children will never want to leave the bed, but according to API, many co-sleeping parents report that their children become willing to leave, with little or no persuasion, on their own around age two or three, as they mature physically, emotionally and cognitively.
With regard to safety, the API site explains that existing studies do not prove that co-sleeping is inherently hazardous. Rather, certain characteristics of the sleeping environment that can contribute to danger—smoking, drugs, alcohol, and unsuitable bedding, for example. Basically, you have to actually pay attention and be aware of your baby, even through the night, rather than setting her aside "safely" (or not) in her separate space.
One of the biggest problems with the perception of co-sleeping probably stems from a cultural bias. America's emphasis on independence, technology, and consumerism, as well as parents’ needs for time and privacy, may as contribute to the bias against co-sleeping.
Simplicity, the company that manufactured the recalled cribs, played on this bias in their statement about the recall. Seemingly trying to temper the bad news about their cribs, they called upon “child advocate” Nancy A. Cowles to express her concern that, “the recall could lead parents to let their children sleep in less safe environments, such in the parents’ bed.” Riiiiiight.
This statement comes straight from the crib company’s press release, but at least most news outlets had the sense not to use the following bit of misinformation on co-sleeping the company slipped in: "According to First Candle, a leading promoter of infant health, infants who sleep in an adult bed with their parents are up to 40 times more likely to die through suffocation or other means than infants who sleep in a crib," the company president is quoted. "Parents need to know that babies are safest in a separate sleeping space designed for them." Mmmm-kay.
So why do the crib makers try to scare parents into thinking their babies aren’t safe in bed with them? To sell cribs, of course. Yay, America!
I don't have anything against cribs, and some day we may even use ours. What I do have something against is misinformation being used to scare parents into thinking they have to buy and use certain products, especially in the wake of news of problems with these products.
Looking into the recall and into facts about co-sleeping did prompt me to do a check of how I arranged my baby's bedding, both in the sleeper and in our bed (in addition to checking our crib). The API site notes the following basic guidelines: infants should sleep on firm surfaces, clean surfaces, in the absence of smoke, under light a blanket; their heads should never be covered; the bed should not have any stuffed animals or pillows around the infant; and the infant should never be placed to sleep on top of a pillow. Sheepskins or other fluffy material and especially beanbag mattresses should never be used.
We use an Arm’s Reach Co-sleeper next to our bed, and also have a crib in a separate room for her (maybe someday) but in reality, our baby ends up in bed with us most nights after her first waking. I usually pick her up out of the co-sleeper and place her next to me to nurse lying down and we both fall asleep. It’s a wonderful feeling and it’s just so easy. Sometimes I will lean over the co-sleeper and nurse her there, but honestly, it's so much more comfortable to have her right by my side. I can’t imagine how parents who have their babies sleeping in another room manage when they wake at night and cry out for them, which most babies just naturally do when they are very young. It’s much more tiring, I think, to have to get out of bed and go to the crying baby than to be gently woken by the baby’s persistent stirring and then be able to tend to her before she gets worked up.
According to Attachment Parenting International (API), there are many benefits to co-sleeping. Co-sleeping helps babies regulate some of their bodies’ functions. The API website cites studies showing that parents being so close by may help the infant’s immature nervous system learn to self-regulate during sleep and that it may also help prevent SIDS by preventing the infant from entering into sleep states that are too deep.
Babies get more care with the co-sleeping arrangement, as well. Co-sleeping increases breastfeeding, and in addition to the known benefits of breast milk itself, the act of sucking increases oxygen flow, which is beneficial for both growth and immune functions.
Long-term benefits include higher self-esteem, less discomfort about physical contact and affection as adults and general improved adjustment to life. Another study showed co-sleeping children received higher evaluations from their teachers than did solitary sleeping children. Furthermore, a large, cross-cultural study conducted on five different ethnic groups in large U.S. cities found that, across all groups, co-sleepers exhibited a general feeling of satisfaction with life.
Some critics say children will never want to leave the bed, but according to API, many co-sleeping parents report that their children become willing to leave, with little or no persuasion, on their own around age two or three, as they mature physically, emotionally and cognitively.
With regard to safety, the API site explains that existing studies do not prove that co-sleeping is inherently hazardous. Rather, certain characteristics of the sleeping environment that can contribute to danger—smoking, drugs, alcohol, and unsuitable bedding, for example. Basically, you have to actually pay attention and be aware of your baby, even through the night, rather than setting her aside "safely" (or not) in her separate space.
One of the biggest problems with the perception of co-sleeping probably stems from a cultural bias. America's emphasis on independence, technology, and consumerism, as well as parents’ needs for time and privacy, may as contribute to the bias against co-sleeping.
Simplicity, the company that manufactured the recalled cribs, played on this bias in their statement about the recall. Seemingly trying to temper the bad news about their cribs, they called upon “child advocate” Nancy A. Cowles to express her concern that, “the recall could lead parents to let their children sleep in less safe environments, such in the parents’ bed.” Riiiiiight.
This statement comes straight from the crib company’s press release, but at least most news outlets had the sense not to use the following bit of misinformation on co-sleeping the company slipped in: "According to First Candle, a leading promoter of infant health, infants who sleep in an adult bed with their parents are up to 40 times more likely to die through suffocation or other means than infants who sleep in a crib," the company president is quoted. "Parents need to know that babies are safest in a separate sleeping space designed for them." Mmmm-kay.
So why do the crib makers try to scare parents into thinking their babies aren’t safe in bed with them? To sell cribs, of course. Yay, America!
I don't have anything against cribs, and some day we may even use ours. What I do have something against is misinformation being used to scare parents into thinking they have to buy and use certain products, especially in the wake of news of problems with these products.
Looking into the recall and into facts about co-sleeping did prompt me to do a check of how I arranged my baby's bedding, both in the sleeper and in our bed (in addition to checking our crib). The API site notes the following basic guidelines: infants should sleep on firm surfaces, clean surfaces, in the absence of smoke, under light a blanket; their heads should never be covered; the bed should not have any stuffed animals or pillows around the infant; and the infant should never be placed to sleep on top of a pillow. Sheepskins or other fluffy material and especially beanbag mattresses should never be used.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Morning musings on mindfulness (and more)
I'm posting this "fun" diary-type post here, though I usually post things like this on my other blog, but the host seems to be having some problems with the database server and I can't access it at the moment!This morning I felt so sluggish. I was chilly and didn't want to get out of bed and thought both Ava and I could benefit from trying to go back to sleep when Daddy left for work, after having been up since just after 5 am. Well, my dear daughter didn't like that idea so much, so we had to get up and get out for a bit.
I thought a nice chai latte would warm me up and wake me up without caffeinating my breastmilk too, too much, and would provide a destination—the local Starbuck's—for a walk. So I bundled her up in and got her into the fake Moby (I accidentally had the real one shipped to my office, and I'm not comfortable going in there during business hours til my resignation's been announced to the whole staff).
So we had a nice walk. It's funny how we in the suburbs now have Starbuck's to walk to, but no funky little independent coffee shops. I think Starbuck's has kind of lost its cache (probably did long ago) as it's grown so huge and ubiquitous. Although, it apparently changes some people's lives! Anyway, I still enjoyed my drink and am glad there is such a place within walking distance. I'm not going to be splurging on drinks like this every day, but I am feeling a little bit more financially confident given that work has already offered me some freelance writing to last me through the end of November. Still, I've got to be frugal.
I'm now waiting for some work assignments with deadlines to flow in. I have some non-pressing things I can work on, but I'm not that motivated today and I want to save the time I alot for work for the things I know they will be expecting quickly. I'm just waiting on some missing pieces from various contacts.
I read a couple interesting posts on HuffPost today...one on "mindfulness" which they say is "the practice of applying a moment-to-moment attention to experiences—as they arise (whether the experiences are of the senses, such as sound or taste, or experiences of the mind, such as thoughts or feelings)." I've been interested in this kind of "meditation" for some time, and even got a book on the subject several years ago that I still don't think I've read in its entirety. This, being evidence of my own struggle with mindfulness. I always seem to be plotting my next project, thinking of my next idea, daydreaming about something. I have to say, though, that having a baby and having everyone warn me of them growing up so fast has made me often stop and savor a baby moment here and there. My child is already teaching me so much! (Ah...this springboards another idea for a project I must file away....)
But, even as she's teaching me to savor life as it happens, I'm constantly chasing the documentation of it all—which brings me to the other interesting post. My daughter is definitely among those "kids [who] are forming the most documented generation ever, as parents, relatives and friends capture forever the first, second and hundredth smile" this thanks to "cheap and easy-to-use recording devices—digital cameras, camcorders, camera phones." We are in the market for a new digital camcorder, actually. I just have to remember to enjoy all the precious moments as they're happening and not just frantically try to record everything somehow!
I'm signing off now to try and do just some of that savoring! (Speaking of savoring, I made veggie chili and cornbread today...will be a yummy dinner...)
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
My next life is here today
“A woman’s life can really be a succession of lives, each revolving around some emotionally compelling situation or challenge, and each marked off by some intense experience.”
I got a card the other day from my mom printed with that quotation from Wallis Simpson, the American wife of Prince Edward, Duke of Windsor in the 30s. Read about her. She oughta know about change.
Anyway, inside, it said, “thinking of you with love during this challenging time.” And she added, “knowing that challenges help us discover what we are capable of accomplishing.”
I think she sent it to me in response to my venting to her about my feelings over leaving work to take care of my baby, as well as taking care of the baby in and of itself. But, actually, we did discuss how it’s not that hard to take care of a baby, just hard to do other things we’re expected to do in addition to taking care of a baby. Even “housewives” have housework to do, cooking, cleaning, etc. And those of us who are trying to do other kinds of work as well—writing, design, and personal upkeep things like reading and working out—can find it even more challenging. Still, it’s not that bad. I feel really grateful for my life.
I just think somewhere along the line something went awry in society in terms of how motherhood and raising kids is viewed. The mere fact that there was a decision at all to be made about staying home with the baby or going back to work is both great (for those women who want to work outside the home) and a little disturbing (because, for me, I believe that it's best for babies to have the individualized attention from their own parent, when parents have the financial wherewithal to do so). When did it become throw-away work, of those “less skilled” than we college-grad “professionals” to raise children? Why is it not the most important job? To me, right now, it is. I wish we lived in a society where everyone who desires could comfortably live a decent life on one adult income. I am just very grateful that we set the stage so that we can, for at least a limited time.
But, back to the “challenges helping us discover what we are capable of accomplishing” and all that about my “succession of lives.”
I told my office today officially that I would not be returning after maternity leave. For me, that’s a big change. I've worked there for nearly eight years. I am used to working outside the home. I even enjoy it, as a concept, even though I’ve been known to grouse about petty details. But, as I told my boss and our president in my resignation letter, “this truly is a time in my daughter’s life that I must focus on her care and development in such a way that working outside the home would not allow.”
I am going to pursue freelance work as a designer and writer, so I’m hoping over time to build on that from home, as I am able, and usher in the next in my succession of lives. What could be more “emotionally compelling” or more of an “intense experience” than giving birth? I’m hoping that this leap I’m making can truly spring forth with the same creativity and vitality that was inherent in my natural birth of my beautiful daughter and that she can continue to be an inspiration to me in the years to come.
I am truly grateful for her, for my husband and for my life and the next one and the next one...
I got a card the other day from my mom printed with that quotation from Wallis Simpson, the American wife of Prince Edward, Duke of Windsor in the 30s. Read about her. She oughta know about change.
Anyway, inside, it said, “thinking of you with love during this challenging time.” And she added, “knowing that challenges help us discover what we are capable of accomplishing.”
I think she sent it to me in response to my venting to her about my feelings over leaving work to take care of my baby, as well as taking care of the baby in and of itself. But, actually, we did discuss how it’s not that hard to take care of a baby, just hard to do other things we’re expected to do in addition to taking care of a baby. Even “housewives” have housework to do, cooking, cleaning, etc. And those of us who are trying to do other kinds of work as well—writing, design, and personal upkeep things like reading and working out—can find it even more challenging. Still, it’s not that bad. I feel really grateful for my life.
I just think somewhere along the line something went awry in society in terms of how motherhood and raising kids is viewed. The mere fact that there was a decision at all to be made about staying home with the baby or going back to work is both great (for those women who want to work outside the home) and a little disturbing (because, for me, I believe that it's best for babies to have the individualized attention from their own parent, when parents have the financial wherewithal to do so). When did it become throw-away work, of those “less skilled” than we college-grad “professionals” to raise children? Why is it not the most important job? To me, right now, it is. I wish we lived in a society where everyone who desires could comfortably live a decent life on one adult income. I am just very grateful that we set the stage so that we can, for at least a limited time.
But, back to the “challenges helping us discover what we are capable of accomplishing” and all that about my “succession of lives.”
I told my office today officially that I would not be returning after maternity leave. For me, that’s a big change. I've worked there for nearly eight years. I am used to working outside the home. I even enjoy it, as a concept, even though I’ve been known to grouse about petty details. But, as I told my boss and our president in my resignation letter, “this truly is a time in my daughter’s life that I must focus on her care and development in such a way that working outside the home would not allow.”
I am going to pursue freelance work as a designer and writer, so I’m hoping over time to build on that from home, as I am able, and usher in the next in my succession of lives. What could be more “emotionally compelling” or more of an “intense experience” than giving birth? I’m hoping that this leap I’m making can truly spring forth with the same creativity and vitality that was inherent in my natural birth of my beautiful daughter and that she can continue to be an inspiration to me in the years to come.
I am truly grateful for her, for my husband and for my life and the next one and the next one...
Monday, September 17, 2007
Cultural clues in the business section: Drifting further away from nature, we need to hold on to some of our animal attributes
You can find some of the most interesting cultural commentaries by reading between the lines of the business section. Take the story in Friday’s New York Times about Nair marketing hair removal products to 10-15-year olds:
“When a girl removes hair for the first time, it’s a life-changing moment,” the VP of marketing for the company selling Nair is quoted in the Times.
We laughed when we first read this, my husband and I, but then I realized—she’s right. The ritualization and symbolism of hair removal is, in fact, nothing new. Wikipedia has some basic background on hair removal for social, cultural, and religious reasons—and more. But I wonder if our contemporary culture’s growing obsession with depilation may be loaded with new meaning.
The Times article notes, “It seems that Nair, which had just a few products in the 1970s and now has 25 (including waxes and bleaches) is gearing up to remove body hair from nearly every member of the household but the family pet.”
So basically, everyone wants to be smooth and mostly hairless like highly-stylized anime characters or human robots. So clean so perfect. So un-animalistic. So un-natural. I think this trend might be linked to our increasing reliance and ever-tightening embrace of technology. We are moving further and further away from nature. And we must nip, or wax, or burn off with chemicals, the hair as soon as it starts to grow.
“The whole hair removal situation has changed,” another exec says in the Times article. “Now people are removing hair from eyebrows to toes, and using all kinds of different products. People are more open about it and they feel more confident, cleaner.”
I think that the distance growing between humans (especially Americans) and nature, evidenced by bigger things like our disregard for the environment and other animals, and our birthing practices, is symbolized by a smaller thing—our eschewing our natural hairiness.
Digressing for a look at the birth example, this month’s issue of Mothering magazine had an article on the large percentage of Cesarean births today in America (5 percent in 1970, 30 percent today). The story tied this to our “fascination with and blind faith in science and technology as the ultimate antidotes” to our culture’s fear of letting go and letting natural processes take their course. What could be more natural than birth? Yet, a woman giving birth in a U.S. hospital “may have to contend with up to 16 tubes, drugs, or attachments while in labor.”
Now, I am no luddite or hater of technology. I am writing on a blog. I design websites. Technology has made it possible for me to work from home. I love much about technology. Yay iPod! Yay online banking and bill-paying! But, there are some places where nature should be respected. When nature does a better job, for example. Foods. Birth. And I think we should hold on to more of our hair as a symbol of respect for nature. We may use computers to manage our lives, but why not live a life in balance. Step away from the computer for a good portion of each day. Step away from the razors and the Nair. Go outside. Play with some animals. Even if the animals are just other people, play with them really, not just online.
I wonder what clever ways we can come up with to provide balance in our lives between the natural, animal world and technology?
“When a girl removes hair for the first time, it’s a life-changing moment,” the VP of marketing for the company selling Nair is quoted in the Times.
We laughed when we first read this, my husband and I, but then I realized—she’s right. The ritualization and symbolism of hair removal is, in fact, nothing new. Wikipedia has some basic background on hair removal for social, cultural, and religious reasons—and more. But I wonder if our contemporary culture’s growing obsession with depilation may be loaded with new meaning.
The Times article notes, “It seems that Nair, which had just a few products in the 1970s and now has 25 (including waxes and bleaches) is gearing up to remove body hair from nearly every member of the household but the family pet.”
So basically, everyone wants to be smooth and mostly hairless like highly-stylized anime characters or human robots. So clean so perfect. So un-animalistic. So un-natural. I think this trend might be linked to our increasing reliance and ever-tightening embrace of technology. We are moving further and further away from nature. And we must nip, or wax, or burn off with chemicals, the hair as soon as it starts to grow.
“The whole hair removal situation has changed,” another exec says in the Times article. “Now people are removing hair from eyebrows to toes, and using all kinds of different products. People are more open about it and they feel more confident, cleaner.”
I think that the distance growing between humans (especially Americans) and nature, evidenced by bigger things like our disregard for the environment and other animals, and our birthing practices, is symbolized by a smaller thing—our eschewing our natural hairiness.
Digressing for a look at the birth example, this month’s issue of Mothering magazine had an article on the large percentage of Cesarean births today in America (5 percent in 1970, 30 percent today). The story tied this to our “fascination with and blind faith in science and technology as the ultimate antidotes” to our culture’s fear of letting go and letting natural processes take their course. What could be more natural than birth? Yet, a woman giving birth in a U.S. hospital “may have to contend with up to 16 tubes, drugs, or attachments while in labor.”
Now, I am no luddite or hater of technology. I am writing on a blog. I design websites. Technology has made it possible for me to work from home. I love much about technology. Yay iPod! Yay online banking and bill-paying! But, there are some places where nature should be respected. When nature does a better job, for example. Foods. Birth. And I think we should hold on to more of our hair as a symbol of respect for nature. We may use computers to manage our lives, but why not live a life in balance. Step away from the computer for a good portion of each day. Step away from the razors and the Nair. Go outside. Play with some animals. Even if the animals are just other people, play with them really, not just online.
I wonder what clever ways we can come up with to provide balance in our lives between the natural, animal world and technology?
Monday, September 3, 2007
On Keeping Up and Keeping On
September's here. It's one of my favorite months and it's off to a good start...even though I had a quiet meltdown today. It's Labor Day, last day of the long weekend. We kept busy, a music festival Saturday, baby's first hike yesterday (with me carrying her for the 7 miler in the Maya) getting back on track with my running today, etc. Problem is, trying to suck the last delicious drops of the weekend out before going back to "work" tomorrow, with a sore back. Plus, it was frustrating because the baby didn't nap well Saturday or today (though she slept alot Sunday during our hike). And so, today , when I was trying to just...get...a few things...done, damnit...I felt so tired and angry.
The baby wanted to be held soooo much and wouldn't sleep outside of my arms. One of the things I was trying to get done was to make a new carrier so I could hold her more easily with my sore shoulder. I managed to do it, with a milk break for baby in the middle, cutting some 6 yards of cotton/spandex rib knit down the middle to essentially make my own Moby wrap. I have high hopes for this carrier, and already tried it out around the house. I'm thinking the weight distribution over both shoulders will be a boon when hiking, or when I'm carrying her for longer periods of time. I still love the Maya, and my Hotslings, but I'm glad I looked into this other style of carrier, as well. I actually ordered a Moby online last night after hiking, since that's how I am--gotta have it right away. But then, I had to have one even sooner and so dashed over to the fabric store this morning, and you know the rest...I probably won't bother returning the Moby, since it's a different color (Moss) and as you can probably already tell, I am baby-carrier-crazy. (We have an Ergo, too, but I'm thinking that will work out more for Daddy's use when she's a little bigger.)
Anyway, I've been reflecting lately on how much I'm trying to get done all the time, how I am now always trying to "keep up" and I realized that I may have to post less frequently to the blogs as I get more "real" work to do, so I wanted to check in and give a progress report on some of the stuff I've mentioned earlier on the blog.
Generally, my busy schedule is working pretty well. I've been putting in between 16 and 20 hours a week at my office job from home (more to come on this subject later this month). I've been giving the baby plenty of care and attention, even as she begins to demand more active, engaging play as she grows. I've been lacking a bit in the fitness department, though, slacking off completely on my runs last week. I had appointments four days in a row, plus a pretty heavy work-workload considering I'm actually on maternity leave, and I just didn't feel up to it. But now I have a new goal. I'm going to lose my 15 lbs. by the end of December. (It may only be 13, but my weight seems to fluctuate day to day by a couple of pounds.) It should be fairly easy since I've been stuffing my face with abandon pretty much since I've had the baby and working out moderately. I figure if I just control myself a bit, and up the workout commitment, I'll hit my goal.
As far as the IYADWYADTYAGWYAG post, my first one, I have to say, things have improved with my husband. I think we are getting into the groove of life with a baby. Plus, he is really a wonderful man and a great dad. He is really into the baby. Playing with her, doing diaper duty, watching her when I go on my morning runs, and even when I went to the fabric store today. He tried to give me a massage today, too, but baby wasn't havin' none of that. At least we got to do some other stuff during one of her very brief catnaps. I think I learned, or re-learned, that things are better if you ask for things sweetly and show appreciation rather than nag and ridicule. Sounds simple enough, but it's so easy to slip into a downward spiral of negativity.
Now, for my review of library books...the books and CDs I checked out for my "Destination" post were mostly set aside for books from subsequent library trips that demanded my attention sooner. Sadly, I never listened to the French CDs once. (I will, though!) What I did read were The Wonder Weeks and A Thousand Splendid Suns. I wrote a little about Wonder Weeks on my other blog. Both valuable and incredible books. (More on both later.) I had to make these books priorities and read them quickly since they're in the cue for others to check out, and have holds on them!
So, I realize this is a terrible post, writing-wise. It's crazy and rambling, and who cares about all this? Well, it's just an example of how sometimes things fall apart. Life is full and wonderful, but it can't always be documented and described in a neat, clever, little package. So there. I'm pretty tired and disorganized from baby care and all my other tasks and attempts at fun and keeping a personality, but I am happy, meltdowns and all. I hope that though my posts may become fewer as I try to re-organize a bit, I can come back with some improvements and growth to show.
The baby wanted to be held soooo much and wouldn't sleep outside of my arms. One of the things I was trying to get done was to make a new carrier so I could hold her more easily with my sore shoulder. I managed to do it, with a milk break for baby in the middle, cutting some 6 yards of cotton/spandex rib knit down the middle to essentially make my own Moby wrap. I have high hopes for this carrier, and already tried it out around the house. I'm thinking the weight distribution over both shoulders will be a boon when hiking, or when I'm carrying her for longer periods of time. I still love the Maya, and my Hotslings, but I'm glad I looked into this other style of carrier, as well. I actually ordered a Moby online last night after hiking, since that's how I am--gotta have it right away. But then, I had to have one even sooner and so dashed over to the fabric store this morning, and you know the rest...I probably won't bother returning the Moby, since it's a different color (Moss) and as you can probably already tell, I am baby-carrier-crazy. (We have an Ergo, too, but I'm thinking that will work out more for Daddy's use when she's a little bigger.)
Anyway, I've been reflecting lately on how much I'm trying to get done all the time, how I am now always trying to "keep up" and I realized that I may have to post less frequently to the blogs as I get more "real" work to do, so I wanted to check in and give a progress report on some of the stuff I've mentioned earlier on the blog.
Generally, my busy schedule is working pretty well. I've been putting in between 16 and 20 hours a week at my office job from home (more to come on this subject later this month). I've been giving the baby plenty of care and attention, even as she begins to demand more active, engaging play as she grows. I've been lacking a bit in the fitness department, though, slacking off completely on my runs last week. I had appointments four days in a row, plus a pretty heavy work-workload considering I'm actually on maternity leave, and I just didn't feel up to it. But now I have a new goal. I'm going to lose my 15 lbs. by the end of December. (It may only be 13, but my weight seems to fluctuate day to day by a couple of pounds.) It should be fairly easy since I've been stuffing my face with abandon pretty much since I've had the baby and working out moderately. I figure if I just control myself a bit, and up the workout commitment, I'll hit my goal.
As far as the IYADWYADTYAGWYAG post, my first one, I have to say, things have improved with my husband. I think we are getting into the groove of life with a baby. Plus, he is really a wonderful man and a great dad. He is really into the baby. Playing with her, doing diaper duty, watching her when I go on my morning runs, and even when I went to the fabric store today. He tried to give me a massage today, too, but baby wasn't havin' none of that. At least we got to do some other stuff during one of her very brief catnaps. I think I learned, or re-learned, that things are better if you ask for things sweetly and show appreciation rather than nag and ridicule. Sounds simple enough, but it's so easy to slip into a downward spiral of negativity.
Now, for my review of library books...the books and CDs I checked out for my "Destination" post were mostly set aside for books from subsequent library trips that demanded my attention sooner. Sadly, I never listened to the French CDs once. (I will, though!) What I did read were The Wonder Weeks and A Thousand Splendid Suns. I wrote a little about Wonder Weeks on my other blog. Both valuable and incredible books. (More on both later.) I had to make these books priorities and read them quickly since they're in the cue for others to check out, and have holds on them!
So, I realize this is a terrible post, writing-wise. It's crazy and rambling, and who cares about all this? Well, it's just an example of how sometimes things fall apart. Life is full and wonderful, but it can't always be documented and described in a neat, clever, little package. So there. I'm pretty tired and disorganized from baby care and all my other tasks and attempts at fun and keeping a personality, but I am happy, meltdowns and all. I hope that though my posts may become fewer as I try to re-organize a bit, I can come back with some improvements and growth to show.
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