A horrible mommy blog day!

This post is in honor of all the mommy blogs out there that post the most mundane, “what I did today” drivel that somehow entertains people. I am soooo mommy’d out and so tired of the upper-middle class political crap surrounding motherhood. My internal struggles in my brain get much uglier than any of that. Here is a made-for-primetime version of a bad day in my world.

The table-top fountain doesn’t work. I am devastated. I sob at the kitchen sink as I wash the few dishes leftover from our breadmaking this morning. We got the fountain at Walgreens today after “lunch” when I went in to see if they still sold ipecac syrup in drugstores. Apparently they don’t. At least I couldn’t find it and I was too afraid to ask. I asked where it was once as a teen and they gave me trouble. I figured the pharmacist would think I was some crazy eating disorder lady and I didn’t want to go down that road of proving I wasn’t. Yes, I wanted it to make myself throw up, but no I am not bulimic. I just had a regrettable lunch.

After a frustrating morning that started with a routine enough check of a client’s website, the matter snowballed into an hour with technical support. A bad way to start one’s day when one is having trouble being centered, balanced and focused in their days generally (lately). I’d been dealing with the technical issue on and off since last Thursday and I won’t go into the gory details, but emotionally, I felt like a beat up valise that had been to Bangalore, Phoenix and back (the various support specialists locations, no small coincidence). I take my work very seriously.

What makes it sadder is that today I planned on being a big “focus on my kid” day. We were going to draw alot. We used to draw all the time, but lately it’s been all play doh and blocks and draping scraps of cloth on plastic animals as “costumes”. But, she was doing some good drawing last night in the tub with her bathtub crayons and it made be think, yeah, we need to draw. We did manage to get a little drawing in, and, as previously mentioned, baked homemade bread. How’s that? Work on client website issue, draw with child, make homemade bread with child. Not a bad day, actually. But I feel broken in pieces, somehow.

I figured I’d treat us to lunch over at the Austin Grill. Kids eat free on Tuesdays. I vowed before I’d never eat there again after lame service and feeling gross from the food. But, this wouldn’t be the first vow I’d broken. So we went. Shrimp fajitas sounded good. A margarita…maybe. But, it was not good. My kid didn’t really eat much of hers. Mine tasted alright but not good enough to to make up for the guilt I felt for consuming probably 1000 calories for lunch. Guess I’ll skip dinner. The service was stupid and slow I had to ask for A, B and C twice. What they hell is wrong with people. We were like, one of two or three tables in the place. I used to waitress. I know when it’s hard. Anyway, I left feeling unsatisfied, dirty and gross and my hands smelled horrible from the drippy fajita juices.

“Let me just pop into Walgreens real quick,” I told my kid and we did. I trolled around the healthcare aisles but no ipecac readily available. Should I ask, should I not ask? No. Don’t ask. Then, on an endcap I saw these cheesy little fountains. The label said “Wow! Just $5″ I thought, aw, that’s a cute thing we can use with our animal and block set-ups. My kid would probably think the water running from the little spout into the cauldron and making the whirry flowing sound is really cool. “That looks…relaxing…” the teenage checkout guy said, like he knew it was a terrible, old-lady trinket, awful purchase. A plastic, made-in-China fountain. But it would delight my kid. I knew it would. “She’ll get a kick out of it,” I told him, motioning in my kid’s direction.

But now, I am back home with a bloated belly and a broken fountain (did it ever work?) but a beautiful kid, thank jah. After the bloat fades I am going to do some cardio to try to sweat out my frustration and start fresh tomorrow.